but I don’t want to throw a party. I don’t want to make plans. I don’t want to be disappointed. I don’t want to be 20 years old. I don’t want to see my friends, because I know they won’t understand the feeling. I can imagine it.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAY”
“Um… ok”.
“Hey what’s wrong”
*long hours of awkwardness*

Then it ends and nothing changed. I’m just old and disgusting.

My boyfriend would understand this. They can’t. He’s the only one who can.

I’d much rather, like, spend the whole day at home and forget it’s my birthday.